Entitlement and Elitism

Many are concerned that today's young people in the West feel 'entitled' - to material goods, to satisfying jobs, to ideal romantic partners. Brought up in reasonable comfort, with the world's knowledge at their fingertips; with parents and teachers doing all they can to ensure minimal difficulties, maximum success, great self-esteem... high numbers of teens and young adults seem to expect life, liberty and happiness to be handed to them on a plate.

At the same time, I'm aware of growing segregation, xenophobia, elitism - call it what you will. when I started writing this, nearly four years ago, there were presidential campaigns in the United States which were becoming more and more bitter as people of each persuasion condemned those of the other party. That's unlikely to change with the coming campaigns this year. But although the United States elections are the most publicised, similar anger and divisiveness happens all over the world.

I scan a couple of news websites on my phone most mornings, and sometimes spend longer during the day reading news articles on my computer. Most of it is negative. So many wars, so much violence around the world. Today's news sites have heart-rending articles about children starving, some of them dying in Ukraine and Palestine. But there are also articles about troops gathering in South American countries, torture and slavery in China, violence in African countries, and more. 

So much hatred. So much bigotry. 

Galatians 5:22 tells us that the 'fruits of the Spirit' are love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness, and self-control. That means that those of us who follow Christ, who believe we have the indwelling Holy Spirit, should be demonstrating these things. 

Are Christians generally known to everyone else by these fruits...? Sadly, no. In many cases Christians as well as those of other religions and 'secular' people are involved in destruction, condemnation, unkindness. 

I started thinking about past generations, of the tendency of people to want to feel superior, one way or another. The apartheid system in much of the world - most notably South Africa - genuinely believed that people with pale skin were superior to those with darker skin. 'Ethnic cleansing', and many of Hitler's beliefs were related to this twisted idea that 'white' skins and fair hair are supreme. 

Then there are patriarchal societies around the world which believe that men are not just physically stronger than women, but more intelligent, more capable of making decisions, and that they can treat women however they wish. Even in the supposedly enlightened Western world, it's only in the past hundred years or so that society has recognised that women should be able to vote, to work in professions such as medicine and law, to be paid the same amount as men for doing the same job, to be protected under the same laws that protect men.

Going back a couple of thousand years, since the start of the Church there have been battles, often violent, between those who are convinced they have the right path to God and want to persuade others by force. Jesus, who did nothing wrong - and a great deal that was right - was killed as a criminal. His early followers were persecuted for talking about a new way of love and reconciliation. Then Christianity was given state approval, and started doing its own persecution.

Even further back in history, the Jewish people regularly massacred those of other nations. They believed God was telling them to do so. 

And yet, when God originally called Abraham (in Genesis 12), he chose him so that his descendants could be a blessing to the other nations, not so that they could subdue them. Certainly there were some terrible things that the pagan countries were doing. The Jews, by following healthy dietary and sanitary rules (in a society which knew nothing of germs) were supposed to live long lives and spread God's message amongst those around them. There are some wonderful examples in the Bible: the story of Esther, for instance, or Ruth, of the Jewish people spreading God's love to others. But there are, too, many stories of bloodshed and violence in the Hebrew Bible; I don't pretend to understand them.

The New Testament, however, is much clearer that we who follow Jesus are to be 'salt and light' in the world. We are to be known by our love for one another, and our good example to all. Salt preserves: it slows or even stops decay, and enhances the product that is salted. Light makes darkness disappear: it shows things for what they really are.

Jesus mixed with the most despised people of his time, and was criticised for doing so. He forgave those who broke the Ten Commandments. He healed those considered the lowest of the low. He reached out in love and compassion to everyone he came in contact with, other than the hypocritical and superior religious leaders. He asked for nothing but wholehearted commitment. He gave everything, including his own life.

In the Gospels, and also in some of the letters in the New Testament written to new gatherings of believers, we learn that we of the human race are all of value in God's sight. Whether male or female, Jew or Gentile, we are loved. Whether fair-skinned or dark-skinned, young or old; whatever our gender, or political persuasion, or cultural background, or sexual orientation, we are created in God's image. No 'sin' or error is too great to be forgiven. From those to whom much is given, much is expected.

Yet despite the supposedly enlightened times in which we live, this principle seems to have been lost in today's entitlement world. I've heard of too many young (and not-so-young) people whose philosophy is more along the lines of, 'To those to whom much is given, much more should be given.' 

Certainly our children need to be loved, and to be told that they are of value. Philip Yancey popularised the truth that, 'There is nothing we can do to make God love us more… and nothing we can do to make God love us less.' This is the kind of unconditional love that parents need to communicate to their children. I believe passionately in non-violent and non-coercive parenting, in encouraging our children to find good solutions to problems and to make their own decisions, wherever possible.

And yes, society is, in some ways, more loving and accepting than it was in the past. Women are, in many cultures, recognised for their abilities. Mixed culture marriages are more and more common, and no longer cause raised eyebrows, at least in European countries. It's very good that those with special needs are given opportunities rather than locked away, that those who struggle with academics are given help rather than written off as uneducable. 

But, somewhere amidst the technological revolution and the increase of acceptance of those different from us, we seem to have lost the ability to take responsibility for our actions? Forgiveness and unconditional love don't mean that we should ignore the long-term effects of our children's behaviour. Everyone needs to understand that decisions they make may have consequences: sometimes immediate, sometimes in the long-term future. Perhaps a broken toy can be mended, perhaps not. Whether broken deliberately or by carelessness, a child's actions will have consequences. 

As we help our children see that every action or decision may have an effect or consequence, perhaps they will start to believe us when we tell them that some things will have effects many years in the future. Even such basics as brushing teeth, eating fruit and vegetables or running around outside are important for the child's long-term health. We all make decisions every day, and part of maturity is learning to make positive ones.

I don't think it's healthy, however, to compare a child with others, to push for competition, or to reward them for good 'grades'. I heard of someone recently saying that children needed to be taught to be 'ordinary'. Most of them won't go on to be top CEOs, or Olympic athletes or highly paid entertainers. They - and we - need to learn to be content, sometimes, to be 'good enough' parents, or secretaries, or aid workers, or builders, or whatever our current vocation or role involves. 

It doesn't much matter what career we follow, or what job we do: God wants us to grow into increasingly loving people who are a blessing to others. If we demonstrate the principle that the more we have, the more we should give (whether in material terms, or our abilities) and if we encourage our children and teens to do the same, maybe they will gradually lose the idea that they are entitled to more than those around them.